Noted forensic psychologist Dr. Helen Smith’s newest book, His Side: Men Speak Out on Dating, Marriage and Life in America, is a provocative look at the male experience. Smith uses interviews to examine how straight men are forced to navigate shattered norms in a turbulent society.
Smith, who has long studied the human experience, takes the conversation outside of clinical data and brings the reader into the living rooms, workplaces, and communities of everyday men.
There she uncovers the cultural fraying of the male experience in this country, one that has often been narrowed, stereotyped, and viewed with hostility. She uncovers a deep-seated “connective tissue” that has been unraveled by a culture that often views the male experience through a narrow, and sometimes hostile, lens.
The stories aren’t rooted in grievance purely for the sake of offense or airing of injustices. Instead, they are about men in our country who want to provide for their families, protect them, and hold a sense of belonging in the places and communities that they are connected to. But they often find themselves in a brand-new world of dating rules, and in workplaces where they feel increasingly alienated. In short: they are not finding purpose in the places that their fathers and their father’s father did — an experience that has turned their inner compasses upside down.
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Whether it’s the frustration of navigating a digital dating world that sometimes feels like looking for signs of life in a vast desert. Or, worse yet, a constant feeling of dodging, getting swallowed up in hidden quicksands. The book is a frank look at many men who are experiencing the feeling of being sidelined in a female-centered social hierarchy.
Smith’s book is a central guide for both men and women who are eager to understand navigating our modern world. The book offers great insights into men’s needs and a perspective that is clear-eyed and useful for both genders.
